Whoa! This week has been the most stressful week of my entire junior life! So many things i needed to accomplish on my OWN --- the TLE poster, the power point presentation, and the undeniable fact that I still needed to study for the PRELIMS examination. Well, thank GOD everything went well. It's just that, I don't like all the pimples popping on my face! My Mom says this is a result of my 5 straight nights of sleeping for just 5 hours. Ugh! Actually, as I write this post now, my eyes are burning and my eyelids are involuntarily closing. I guess I really have abused my body.
I haven't written a post for almost a week, and I just love playing with the letters on this keyboard. I feel like my emotions inside me have a connection with my tapping fingers. Let's say, if I feel happy, my fingers are gracefully dancing from one letter to the other. But when I'm angry, they're banging and typing swiftly --- as if I want to pull each button out of its placement. Well, right now, my fingers aren't dancing. They're banging! I feel like a useless person. A coward. A host --- infested by parasites.
Why can I say that I'm a host? Well, it's because of my stupid attitude. Ever since my elementary years, I had this feeling of a great need for everything to be perfect. I have no trust in others. I only trust myself. And so parasites, during the announcement about group projects, take that advantage on me. Like for example, the poster. It was supposed to be a work of three persons, but I was the only one who did it. And the power point, I stayed up until 1:00 am just to finish that by myself. It was also supposed to be a work by threes. Well, I'm not actually blaming my group mates, because I know since I'm in third year right now, they, by all means, wanted to take part in doing our projects. It's just that --- I can't afford to take the risk. I'm afraid that when they do something and I don't like it, I might hurt them with my comments. I really had no confidence in others. What a nincompoop! I hate myself for this, but this is a part of me that I can't just share here and forget about it the next day! I had to get rid of this slowly, and learn to trust others with their own potentials.
I hope I could eliminate my "PERFECTIONIST" side. I really do wish for that. I know it will take time, but I think I've got loads of it! But as of now, I have other urgent things to worry about. Like getting rid of these fast multiplying pimples all over my face! Or my eye bags that are darker than coal! So, better scram and get some of that beauty rest! Ha ha! Stupid stressful week!
I haven't written a post for almost a week, and I just love playing with the letters on this keyboard. I feel like my emotions inside me have a connection with my tapping fingers. Let's say, if I feel happy, my fingers are gracefully dancing from one letter to the other. But when I'm angry, they're banging and typing swiftly --- as if I want to pull each button out of its placement. Well, right now, my fingers aren't dancing. They're banging! I feel like a useless person. A coward. A host --- infested by parasites.
Why can I say that I'm a host? Well, it's because of my stupid attitude. Ever since my elementary years, I had this feeling of a great need for everything to be perfect. I have no trust in others. I only trust myself. And so parasites, during the announcement about group projects, take that advantage on me. Like for example, the poster. It was supposed to be a work of three persons, but I was the only one who did it. And the power point, I stayed up until 1:00 am just to finish that by myself. It was also supposed to be a work by threes. Well, I'm not actually blaming my group mates, because I know since I'm in third year right now, they, by all means, wanted to take part in doing our projects. It's just that --- I can't afford to take the risk. I'm afraid that when they do something and I don't like it, I might hurt them with my comments. I really had no confidence in others. What a nincompoop! I hate myself for this, but this is a part of me that I can't just share here and forget about it the next day! I had to get rid of this slowly, and learn to trust others with their own potentials.
I hope I could eliminate my "PERFECTIONIST" side. I really do wish for that. I know it will take time, but I think I've got loads of it! But as of now, I have other urgent things to worry about. Like getting rid of these fast multiplying pimples all over my face! Or my eye bags that are darker than coal! So, better scram and get some of that beauty rest! Ha ha! Stupid stressful week!
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